How to Build a Tech Team That Drags Down a Company

Author Mr. K, a well‑known technology leader from a major e‑commerce company, shares a satirical yet cautionary piece on constructing a technology team that will ultimately sabotage a small‑to‑mid‑size company.

He first defines the target as a small or medium‑sized enterprise, noting that larger firms have the resources to absorb mistakes, whereas smaller companies cannot afford reckless experimentation.

1. Poach talent from big companies (BAT) – Hiring expensive engineers from large firms often demotivates existing staff and creates resentment, leading to a dysfunctional team.

2. Adopt agile development blindly – Agile requires mature Scrum Masters and skilled developers; without them, it becomes chaotic and counter‑productive.

3. Enforce unrealistic role ratios – Insisting on a 1:5:1 product‑developer‑tester split forces developers to be full‑stack, overburdening a lean team.

4. Overemphasize technical management – Expecting a small leader to manage technical details while also handling management duties is unrealistic; effective management should focus on organization, weekly meetings, warnings, and incentives.

5. Promote a false startup culture – Unless every engineer is a co‑founder, pushing a “founder‑like” culture creates a profit‑vs‑ideology clash.

6. Use code‑line count for performance evaluation – Measuring output by lines of code demotivates engineers and leads to meaningless metrics.

7. Build a middle‑platform (micro‑services) prematurely – Small businesses should keep architecture simple; over‑engineering with middle‑platforms wastes resources.

The article concludes with a warning: technical leaders in small companies should avoid these pitfalls, focus on realistic processes, and remember that profit‑driven discussions are more valuable than empty idealism.