Why Programmers Shouldn't Talk Directly to Clients: The Translator Role of Product Managers

In a recent discussion, a newcomer asked why programmers are not allowed to deal directly with customers and must go through product managers. The following humorous dialogues illustrate the communication gap and the need for a “translator” role.

Answer 1

Client: “Please stir-fry a dish with eggplant and potatoes, add some greens, and keep it light because I have high blood pressure.”

Product Manager: “Stir-fry Di San Xian.”

Answer 2

Client: “I need that feature.”

Developer: “What latency in milliseconds should we aim for?”

Client: “???”.

Developer: “??”.

Client: “What’s your attitude?”

Developer: “I need requirements; without latency I can’t design a solution. Do we need to pass values? Which encryption algorithm? Do you have your own CA?”

Client: “(confused)”.

Answer 3

Client: “I want a QQ‑style tea with monk fruit sweetener, oolong base, three‑point sweetness, fast!”

Product: “Sure, it will be ready in five minutes.”

Developer (to programmer): “Create a branch, speed up the version upgrade.”

Developer: “But didn’t he ask for oolong base and three‑point sweetness?”

Product: “He can’t even taste it.”

Answer 4

Client: “Why is the network down again?!”

Operator: “The OTN ring between stations X and Y broke, causing a single‑ended outage; we are switching data.”

Client: “???”.

Product Manager (on the phone): “A municipal construction cut the line next door; we’re negotiating with them and will restore the connection shortly.”

Client: “Okay, take care of safety.”

Answer 5

Client: “Why isn’t this thing rotating?”

Developer: “Because a recursive lock caused a deadlock, leading to an ANR error.”

Client: “?”.

Product Manager: “We have a protection mechanism that stops the device when components overheat. We can disable it in the next version or raise the temperature threshold.”

Client: “Alright, we’ll follow your plan.”

Product Manager (to developer): “Fix the bug quickly!”

Developer: “But we don’t have that feature.”

Product Manager: “No worries, the client will forget in a week.”

Answer 6

Client: “Why is this page stuck loading?”

Developer: *posts a locked‑table screenshot, says nothing.*

Client: “I need data for a report; the page is unusable.”

Developer: “Hold on.”

Client: “How long? My boss is pressing.”

Developer: “Done.”

Client: “It’s working now, what caused it? Will it happen again?”

Developer: “The table was locked; we’ve resolved it.”

Client: “What table? What lock?”

Conclusion: Programmers excel at code and logic, not at translating vague client demands into technical specifications. A product manager acts as the essential “translator” to bridge the gap between customer expectations and engineering implementation.